Hi, my name is Rachael and I am here because I am addicted to procrastination. You see, it isn’t that the material is too difficult- quite the opposite, really. I’ve been able to throw papers together hours before it is due. I constantly remind myself that I need to do my school work and I constantly reply back with “later.” When I sit down and get ready to actually do my work and study I get so easily distracted. At that moment, i could do anything else and it would still be more fun than this classwork. Why is that? Why do I think it is better for me to literally watch the time change than answer the assigned questions? Why is it so much easier to write blogs than write an essay? When I sit here, the words just flow out of my fingertips. It’s like a conversation, except I don’t stutter over every other word. When I am trying to explain something, my mind moves at a thousand miles a minute. My mouth used to keep up, but since the brain surgeries, temporary paralysis, and intense treatment, my lips don’t move as fast as I want them to. This sometimes results in something that resembles an ancient language being spoken, “tdu bhe sucdt.” Sometimes my words come out as a stutter, “H-h-h-how a-are you t-today s-s-s-s-sir?” I really hate it because it makes people look at me like I am a freak of nature. Sometimes, though it only makes people laugh or smirk, which doesn’t bother me as much.
Look at where my attention span has landed us *facepalm*.
Back to the point of this blog post. Procrastination.
I am addicted to procrastination, but I am trying to find new ways to beat that. I can’t listen to much music while I work because it distracts me from retaining the information. I started reading the assigned readings from classes out loud. Not only does it help me stay on track, but speaking words aloud causes the information to actually make its way through my brain. When I am reading silently, I tend to just look at the information and not actually process it.
I have to make sure I am in a distraction-free zone. Ideally I would go to the library, however I lack a vehicle of my own at the present time so I can’t just go anywhere I want when I want to. When I am home, I bring my work to the kitchen table. The problem there comes when someone decides to watch TV. It wouldn’t be fair of me to demand that the house be quiet when I work. Taking my hearing aids out does not work because while I can no longer hear the TV, I have Tinnitus really badly in both my ears. Tinnitus is ringing in your ears. I have Tinnitus Masters on both my hearing aids, but the ringing is so loud it overpowers the Tinnitus Masters. Imagine how loud, then, it must be when I take my hearing aids out.
When someone turns the TV on, I just migrate to my room. The sound is better but holy moly: distraction city. I start finding other things to do instead of homework “I should make my bed,” “I should vacuum the floor,” “I should…”. These things aren’t necessarily even the least bit more amusing than homework, but for some reason my mind thinks its more fun to do chores than to do my school work.
I constantly repeat the same steps knowing it’s going to make me almost too anxious to function. So, why the heck do I do it?! 🤷♀️🙄
I am going to find ways that to help me from procrastinating. Honestly, the potential for better grades is one, but I need more. If someone has any suggestions, please leave it in the comments or send me a message.
Much love ❤